We all love to succeed at whatever we endeavour to achieve.  From an early age, our successes and achievements are rewarded.  Starting with praise and attention, this then evolves to include certificates, awards, medals and all the other trappings achievement brings.  We are conditioned to believe that winning then is the ultimate aim and we strive to do this within all aspects of our life.  So strong are these desires, we are often left dejected and distraught when we perceive ourselves to have failed or lost.  As a martial arts instructor, I constantly see students in turmoil when they struggle to learn a particular skill, feel outclassed in sparring, lose a competition or do badly at a grading.  It is at these low points that the temptation to quit is strongest.  

The first problem though lies in that it is human nature to compare ourselves to the person next to us.  If they seem to be more successful or capable then we immediately feel bad by comparison.  As in the case of a student struggling to learn a particular skill, they feel unsuccessful because there are those around them that seem to grasp the techniques much quicker.  In sparring, one student often has the edge on another, again, leaving one feeling dejected.  In competition, it is obviously a case of one person against another with a winner/loser outcome guaranteed.  Doing badly at a grading is again usually as a result of a personal comparison to what other people achieve at that particular belt level.  

The study of martial arts though is more akin to a journey than it is to a race or contest.  There is no set time limit as to how long it takes to learn something.  We should only compete with ourselves to ensure we become better people but then use others only as sources of inspiration to help us achieve this, and whilst there is a destination (perfection), we are unlikely to ever reach it (although it is only through striving for perfection that we achieve excellence).

Once we understand this, the success of failure then comes to the fore.  If you do any reading on anyone who you think typifies of what you think of as a successful person, you will find that they define their achievements in comparison to their biggest failures.  I look back on my own experiences within martial arts and I note my struggles and failures as learning points higher than I do my successes and achievements.  The truth therefore is that we can only grow through struggle.  For example, that student who is finding it difficult to learn a particular skill, will gain the benefits of learning about the importance of perseverance and commitment prior to finally earning what will become intuitive, purely through the problems overcome.  Hence why "talent" is often overrated.  Those "unfortunate" students who grasp everything quickly often then do not get the opportunity to learn the valuable lessons about perseverance and the ability to overcome obstacles as often.  How often do we see "talented" people waste their gifts or not make the most of their ability?  
 
So, the next time you struggle or fail with something, take the time to appreciate the lessons that can be learnt from the path you find yourself on and gain the experience that the success of failure brings...